Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Here's my story, what do you think?

Okay so I cheated on my husband on the weekend (sex). I have been married for 3.5 years and he has treated my like **** most of the time (emotionally unavailable). My friends, family, coworkers do not like him and do not understand why I am with him and tell me to get a divorce, don't worry I will. I have not slept with him since November and we do not sleep in the same bed (or kiss or touch) because I don't want to feel anything for him anymore. We do not have kids, thank god!! He just has this aura about him like he is an asshole, I don't know why I didn't see it. I have cried so many times and tried to talk to him about how I was feeling or how he was feeling, and that we have no real connection or whatever else was an issue, but it would always turn into an argument and I would feel worse than I did before I said anything. I feel he blames so many things on me, how much debt we have, that we got a dog (almost 7 years ago) or whatever else is convenient, I have felt so at fault that I thought I was worthless, sometimes suicidal and I have told him that, he said he ';can't help me'; when all I really want is a hug and to tell me ';it will be okay';, (we were supposed to be a team at life). He doesn't help me financially accept with our mortgage (the only reason I still live there), and I can't move out as I have no where else to go.





Don't get me wrong I am not the best person in the world, obviously, and he has been through a lot as a child (I think that is why I fell for him, I was going to save him). His mother was an alcoholic and used to leave him in the car while she was in the bar. I drink once a week and he hates it, I think I drink to forget about his past because it lives with us and I can't handle it. I have been with him for 8 years. I know I do not love him, but when I did all I ever wanted was to see a smile on his face and to make him happy, because that was what was important to me. Now I know I could never have done that.Here's my story, what do you think?
who cares if u cheated on him if he is constantly emotionally unavailable then say to hell with him... leave him.





u DO have somewhere else to go.. its called SELL your house and move to a different place by yourself!Here's my story, what do you think?
I don't understand - what exactly is your question?
You have a simple solution, since thank God, no kids are involved, to just do each other a favor and split up. You both need special individual counseling before entering and another relationship and inflicting yourselves on others.
....and so you phucked someone else, thereby justifying in your mind that your actions were sanctified.





But you fail to present a question. If you have one, ask. If you want to confess, see a priest.
Here is what I read ';I screwed another guy. Blah blah blame my husband. Blah blah I'm justified. Blah blah blame my husband';





Just go get your divorce already!
What I think: cheating on him isn't going to improve your marriage at all. Y'all need counseling in the worst way. None of these issues are unfixable, but if you cheat again, you may wreck your marriage irrevocably.
He makes you feel worthless, what else is there? you feel sorry for him for what he went through in his childhood, but you are his wife now not his mother to correct his past, no matter how much you will try he is not going to change on his own, Did you asked him to try marriage counseling?
There are 2 sides to every story. I suggest you listen to the song ';the cheater'; by bob kuban. Just type in the cheater bob kuban video under yahoo search and play the song.
...you've got to know when to hold'um, know when to fold'um... know when to walk away and know when to run'; !
ok, then leave (today) but not before its too late ( like in a month). Do you feel me? ( parentheses)
You cheating is the worst thing to do. Your past is what makes who you are and if you haven't dealt with it,it will still affect you even if you did deal with it sometimes you just cant forget about it. i know I am a person who doesn't forgive easy and i never forget. I would never cheat and I would prefer my hubby to beat me then cheat on me. Cheating affects you in so many ways and it affects more then one person it's the ultimate NO NO. Your not ready for marriage. Your gonna have ups and downs things are going to happen in life that test you and at some point you may lack in some areas. You think my hubby is there in every single way every single second of the 8 years we been together No and i can say I lack in one area more then anything. You have to be there for each other through everything and some people have issues from their past that make them unable to not be there for their spouse. My hubby doesn't understand me emotionally and isn't there for the emotional


part. We both have had hard child hoods and some of the things we went through are the same some are different but we work with what we got and we love each other to death. You need to be on your own your causing him more harm then anything.
i think your story is a piece of shlt.
I think that you don't take your vows very seriously.





Did you have a question, or just looking for sympathy?





Cheating is never the answer...and you have abandoned your husband, not the other way around.
Counseling for your marriage and suicidal thoughts would be a good idea. Yes, people are a supposed to be a team when they are married but you can't save him and he can't save you. Having an affair is a way to escape problems but it will never fix anything.
Well that's a jacked up story... i'm sorry but i have to agree with most others on here. You cheated on your Team mate as you put it because he treated you badly... well if he treated you badly why are you making up excuses to stay with him liek I dont have a place to go. You have shelters friends hotels family private houseing for sisutations like this.. did you even look into it or are you just assuming there isn't anywhere to go or the places that are offered to you you don't like. I assume the guy isn't that bad because your still married.


like happy said all the issues you have here are fixable. you said I do why not mean it? you married him for the wrong reasons that's why. At what point in your past 8 years did you start feeling this way. at what point have you talked about it. and present in a nice fashion?


There is so much to be said with your post. but unlike at least i tried.


to answer the unoticable question.


I do wish you luck and if you do try to work it out. I'll think more of you but since you cheated you might as well leave him now instead of later. don't use him for a place to stay you'll turn the smile you worked so hard to make in the past 8 years go away... just buy using him for a house.
Well it sounds like you are ready and prepared for a divorce. It sounds like something you want and that's what needs to be done. If you are looking for reassurance, there it is :)
For those of you that asked her what her question was it was loud and clear. She doesnt want an answer she just wanted to vent her story and see how many were on her side.





For me I think that your excuses to cheat, lie, and get drunk are pretty lame. You get drunk because of HIS childhood? How can you write that? If you saw a man in terrible pain would you get a shot of morphine?





But, your story does good because it shows that those that marry for all the wrong reasons will regret it later in their lives. Its story that also shows that when basically good people make all the wrong decisions in their lives that they continue to do so until someone tells them to stop blaming others for their own lack of ethics and morals.





No one made you go out and cheat on your husband but yourself. You thought that the quick cheap thrill of sex outside the marriage would make you feel better about yourself and at the same time it would be getting back at a careless husband. Well, in that case you should by all means go and tell him what you have done so long as he wont get violent and explain that you demand a divorce and the reason you demand a divorce is all his fault. When actually its all yours for marrying a man you didnt love but felt sorry for.
What do I think? I think you will waste a few more years of this life with this a**hole before you realize life is too short. When enough is enough, you will know and will take matters into your own hands.
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