Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Should I help my wife quit her job to open a shop, even though I worry how we will pay the mortgage?

I want to support her, but how do I do that and tell her my concerns, because she is determined to do this and she gets annoyed if I raise a valid point because it is seen like I am deliberately stopping her from doing her dream of opening a shop. She says she will get a job if things fail, but is this enough? I do admit I worry about the mortgage, but think the pressure of being the main breadwinner should be enough for me without having to support her part of the repayments as well. She also says that I only care about the mortgage and not her, but that is not true. Have any of you experienced this with your partner - if so what did you do?Should I help my wife quit her job to open a shop, even though I worry how we will pay the mortgage?
Does she have a business plan? Enough funding? Do you have 3-6 months expenses saved in the likely case that you will not make a profit right off the bat?





You might request that she get these things in order before she just quits her job. Take advantage of a Small Business Association if there is one in your area. Do market research and make sure there is a market for the shop in the area it will be opened. Ask her to do her homework before she metions it again, because you are concerned not only for the mortgage, but for preserving her dream. Tell her you want it to work, and you don't want her to fail because she didn't take the necessary steps to prepare beforehand.





If you have children, DEFINITELY make sure you have enough in savings to cover your expenses before you take this leap. You don't want your children to suffer because of an irrational decision.





Remember, your spouse is your partner in everything you do, so if you two decide to go further with this, she will need your complete support for her business.Should I help my wife quit her job to open a shop, even though I worry how we will pay the mortgage?
75% of new shop openings fail within 12 months.


Why should your wife's be any different?


Overall, 400,000 new businesses start up each year in the UK. One fifth of these cease trading with their first 12 months.
Yes.





If she is determined the smart thing for you to do is support her in any way you can. With luck her shop will eventually pay the mortgage for you and allow you to retire early. Even if it fails, you'll work out how to survive as a team, and this, after all, is what partnership is about.





If you don't support her, not only is the shop more likely to fail due to lack of resources to get it established, she will blame you, thus causing long term and possibly irreparable damage to the relationship.
she is becomeing defensive. support her yes but let her know that you would be more comfortable with the idea if you had 3mnths of cash build up. to pay the morgage and other bills untill her shop starts turning a profit. its all in the wording move forward in opening the shop but take baby steps. this will show her that you are helping her get started at the same time you start building your cash. if you beleave the shop is a Great idea and you beleave it will turn a profit in a short amount of time. you might concider taking an equity line of credit from the bank SunTrust has a great deal going on right now. that would give you the cash to start the bussiness and have money left to pay the bills until the shop begins to turn a profit. ask your banker about it. Good Luck to both of you. God Bless your family in this and all matters of the day.
Let your wife have a go.I had only been married 4 month's.I got offered an place at an excellant university.I turned it down %26amp; it still haunts me,wondering if I would have made it to the top.
try posing this on reallyworried.com. Its worth a try
My wife wants to open a Bakery....this is what I did:





I told her that she could open up the bakery when we payoff the mortgage on our house.





We have alot of equity in our house, so I told her I would be willing to sell our current house, downsize to a smaller house, where we wouldn't have a mortgage.





But she loves our house, so we're working on paying off the mortgage. But downsizing might be an option for you.
If she's determined to open the shop, have her take her plan to the Small Business Assn. to secure a loan which should tie her over until the shop gets on its feet. That way the mortgage shouldn't be in jeapordy for some time. Don't play with your income to the point it causes a possible house loss.
My husband just let me quit in order to go back to school full time. When I'm finished with school, I still won't make the kind of money I was making. I feel guilty, but I have a dream of doing something else. He is being very supportive...right now. I guess, put yourself in her place. How would you feel? You know you only live once and you have to do what makes you happy. Make sure she is aware that you may have to move to be able to afford living expenses while her shop is getting under way.
If you've honestly tried to talk to her and she is still determined to open up this shop then just back her up all the way. If you keep fighting her on it she will just resent you. Now she also has to be fair as well and be honest with you and herself if this shop is losing more than gaining. I don't think its unfair for you to set a certain time period where she'll have to close up shop if the money problem becomes to much of an issue.
Wow....i feel your pain...went through a simliar situation with my wife...she hated her job...is quitting...we are independent distributers of a fabulous jewelry company (some people make a really good living off it) but with a mortage payment and me being the main bread winner, i too have worried that the business will not make enough to help with the bills and the mortage....i think when it came down to it, was that my wife's well being was top priority......that there are ways we can cut back (dramatically in some areas if we need to) just so that my wife would be doing something she enjoys. I think you need to take a look and see if there are areas where you may be able to cut back if at all....maybe talk to your wife and develop a back up plan you both agree upon if the business fails or is not bringing enough in to help with the bills...but your biggest choice you need to make is this.....do you want your wife to be happy or miserable? because if its the later, your life in turn will be miserable....i hate to sound like your just being wipped, but your wife will appreciate your support and in time, your wife will know when (if at all) the shoe business is hurting both of you finacially....good luck man!!!
Take the risk! everyone should try and live their dreams, If you stop her she will end up resenting you.
It depends: How old are you? Do you have kids? Has she tried and failed at a business in the past?





Not knowing those answers, I'll take a guess and generalize...





Assuming there are no kids, you are about mid 30's, and she has NOT failed at a business before, here's what I'd do...





Life is all about taking risks, enjoying your time with your partner, and having fun. At the same time, she has to know that if she opens a business and puts both of your money on the line, you both need to be open and honest about your concerns. If your worried, she needs to know why. If you see it failing, let her know why and see if you can adjust the 'shop' to make you more comfortable.





No matter the kind of business and location, it's likely to be difficult at first as you build a customer base... Be patient with it and with her. Also know that you're both going to be very stressed and likely arguing about any and everything.





Are you both willing to risk the relationship for this business?
Tell to apply for a grant through the government to get the money to open the shop. Grants are money that you don't have to pay back and being a woman there are tons of opportunities for her to get one.


That way you won't have to worry about the mortgage money and she will have something to do. Have her start at this site:


http://www.business.gov/
While you should try %26amp; support your wife, your wife is being unreasonable in not listening to your concerns. It's not as if you're saying that she can't do it, you're saying that you want to make sure that she is taking all things into consideration.





Is there someone close to her that can talk to her? Sometimes spouses will listen to a friend, but not the one that they married.





You may want to take matters into your own hands. Study up on how much you make, how much the monthly bills cost (everything, including the mortgage), as well as other expenses (food, gas, entertainment). Do this just for your home %26amp; the two of you. Then look into how much it would cost for her shop (rent, utilities, employee pay, insurance, the whole kit %26amp; kaboodle). Make a chart %26amp; hand it to her. Let her know exactly how much it'll cost to open a shop. She may want to have a small part-time job for the first year or two in order to make sure that she can pay for her own stuff. You would be surprised at how many small business owners actually had a 2nd job for the first few years.





At the very least, the info should let your wife know how much capital she needs before going into such a venture. Even if it's a small shop, it can still be costly if going into it without proper preparations. Above all, make sure that your wife knows that you want to help her in her dream, which is why you've gone to all this trouble.
Do you think it as a chance of succeeding? who know more about business between the 2 of you? I see the outlines of a financial disaster here. You need to make her see that you are not trying to stop her from being ';more successful than you';! You're being the realistic one. I don't know details of this shop she wants to open, but i recommend prudence.





Stopping her will damage your relation, imagine the damage it will do if you run into financial problems?
You need to do a lot of research first to see if there is a call for the type of shop she intends to open if there is go for it because years down the line you don麓t want to be saying ';if only'; give it a go
You are right to be concerned. Opening a high street shop now is really bad timing. I'm speaking from personal experience. We supply independent retailers with imported products and the majority of the shops we supply have been complaining of how slow business is. The majority of high street stores complained about a slow Christmas and things are even slower this year.


There has definitely been a slowing down in retail spending over the last three years.


I think if she does her homework she will see for herself that she's putting your family home at risk by opening a shop now.

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